A video was posted on YouTube this Wednesday of a car plunging out of the woods toward Trumps motorcade as it traveled down a highway in Springfield, Missouri. Thankfully, it was a failed attempt, and the car bottomed out in a drainage ditch and stalled out on the grass next to the road. 

“The man who took the video, Clayte Hefner, was outside his work and took the video just trying to catch the motorcade. He saw two women inside the car as it rolled out of the woods. The car hit the ditch and was disabled,” -OzarksFirst.com
Of course it was a woman driver. That explains why they couldn’t even make it to the breakdown lane. I’m just waiting for the two women in the car to be identified. $50 bucks says it was Rosie O’Donell and Ashley Judd. Mark my words, you heard it here first. Whoever it was, they’re lucky they missed. They would’ve been in for quite a surprise. The presidential limo, A.K.A. “The Beast,” weighs 20,000 pounds, has 8 inch thick armor plating, doors that weigh as much as the doors on a 757 airplane, 5 inch thick bulletproof windows, and bus size Kevlar reinforced tires that run even when they’re flat. I’m actually sad that the attempt was failed, it would have been funny to see the little car bounce off The Beast like a fly off a horse. Oh well. Better luck next time feminists.

By: Dave Wilkins
Twitter: @davewilkins12

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