Republican Greg Gianforte came under fire after he fucking RKO’d a Guardian reporter right before the special election in Montana last night.  Witnesses claim Gianforte could be seen oiling up his chest, throwing on a Ray Mysterio mask, and shot-gunning a gallon of creatine before coming face to face with a Guardian reporter, who clearly was not trained for this showdown.  

After literally body slamming reporter Ben Jacobs and “breaking his glasses,” Greg Gianforte went on to beat down on his next feeble opponent: Democrat, Rob Quist.  Even with massive fundraising by the democrats, this scandal caught on audio, and handed to them on a silver platter, Quist still couldn’t pull out the victory in the very red state of Montana.  Greg Gianforte will claim former Navy SEAL Ryan Zinke’s House seat, and claim the republican WWE hardcore title while he’s at it.

Jesse Wilkins
Twitter: @JesseCWilkins
Instagram: @TheMeninisms