This is not satire

Scales are very triggering,” said El-Faki, a student at Carlton University. “I think people are being insensitive because they simply don’t understand. They think eating disorders are a choice when they are actually a serious illness.
The school addressed the concern of one student by removing the scale from the University gym and replacing it with a sign that read, “it was the university’s choice to remove the scale, in keeping up with current fitness and social trends.” Apparently, objective information regarding your weight isn’t trendy enough for millennials. Colleges have pretty much already gone off the deep end and there’s really little that they could do to appease this whiny generation of hypersensitive snowflakes that would surprise me at this point, but removing a scale – a device whose sole purpose is to tell you your weight- is removed from the place you go when you want to lose weight, takes it to another level. There’s a whole school full of kids who use the gym, presumably to stay in shape, but now they can’t have a device to track their weight loss because the kid who wears an XXL t-shirt in the public swimming pool is triggered by the scale that he chose to step on. In what world does that make ANY sense? Just when you think people can’t get any stupider, some adult day care, disguised as a college bans scales from the fucking gym to appease one lonely lard wizard. (I just made that up, I should copyright that) The Canadian university’s health and wellness program manager, Bruce Marshall also weighed in (get it?) on the matter.

“We don’t believe being fixated on weight has any positive effect on your health and well-being,” Marshall told The Charlatan via email. “The body is an amazing machine and even when we are dieting and training it will often find a homeostasis at a certain weight.”
So, apparently lying to the students by telling them that their weight is unrelated to their wellbeing is more productive than providing them with a scale that can measure their failure in pounds. Saying a scale is offensive is like saying guns are violent. It’s just lazy. Remember that meme that said “blaming guns for violence is like blaming spoons for being fat”?


Yeah, that’s basically what this is. Blaming the scale for your your freshman fifteen. It’s not the extra-topping pizza and Budweiser diet, it’s the fucking scale. That’s a brilliant analysis. It solves nothing. It changes nothing. All it does is shield leftist snowflakes from reality; which seems like somewhat of a trend with the SJW movement. Dismiss facts and data, manipulate reality to appease the hypersensitive, and mischaracterize objectivity as hate speech. That’s the recipe for a counter productivity sandwich. Which you probably shouldn’t eat if you attend Carlton University. You won’t be able to shed the calories because they banned scales from their gym.

-Dave Wilkins

Twitter: @davewilkins12

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