Congrats to 34 year old, Maria Strydom on being an absolute moron. The Australian cow sympathist set out on a mission to disprove the incontrovertible fact that vegans are physically inferior to meat eaters, by climbing to the summit of Mt. Everest back in April. 

Maria and her feeble husband, Robert Gropel had reached the final camp at the summit when they both began suffering from High-Altitude Pulmonary Edema. This caused Maria’s delicate, vegan brain to swell with fluid, causing her to die. Gropel, Strydoms frail husband was rushed to a Nepal hospital where he recovered. His frail vegan brain was able to recover while hers was not, likely due to the fact that men (even fragile vegan men) are genetically stronger than women; because feminism is a myth.

Being a vegan is fine as long as you understand that you can’t do physically taxing activities. You can read, or knit, or even partake in some light exercise like yoga and planking. Just don’t try to climb mountains or lift things with your flimsy lettuce muscles. You’ll die.  Now, have there been pro athletes who were vegans? Sure. Houston Texans running back, Arian Foster was known to have a vegan diet. He put up great numbers while he was healthy (which was usually between 3 and 7 games per season due to injuries to his frail vegan body) but he chose to retire halfway through the 2016 season after an injury-riddled, meatless career. Also, 5’8 155 lb Mac Danzig, whose UFC record was a staggering 5 wins and 8 losses. He never held a title and had he not been a vegan, his career could have mattered.

Maria Strydom was quoted saying “By climbing the seven summits we want to prove that vegans can do anything and more.” She once wrote in a blog for Monash University, “It seems that people have this warped idea of vegans being malnourished and weak” Her goal was to disprove the totally rational idea by doing “more than anything“. Apparently “more than anything” means die from having a weak, protein deficient body, so in that case, she nailed it.
-Dave Wilkins

twitter: @davewilkins12